Wackaloonytunes
Three Good Things
Years ago, I had a neighbor that drove me stark raving mad. Let's
call her Betty, because that was her name, probably still is. Hopefully, I won’t
ever find out. And I don't feel a bit bad about using her first name because
you're not going to know her or figure out her last name, especially since I
don't even remember it. So I’m not tremendously concerned about invading
her privacy. Unfortunately, she didn't feel the same way about me.
Betty was a royal pain in my backside. She
had this misguided notion that I was her best friend, even though I hardly knew
her. She did an awful lot of assuming during those few years we were neighbors.
Needless to say, our relationship suffered, had there actually been a
relationship.
Most of our conversations started with Betty saying something like,
“Hey, I’m going to leave my kids with you so I can…” or “Can I borrow…” or “I
knew you wouldn’t mind, but…” or “I hope you didn't want that…”These things
never ended well, for me anyway.
This woman drove me so crazy, I started
altering my routine just so I wouldn't have to deal with her. I’d be out of the
door before she was in the morning. I screened my calls. I hid my car. I
started to feel like a fugitive in my own neighborhood.
And then one day, I realized that Betty was dominating my life.
She was all I could think about it. Granted it was in that “plotting her demise”
kind of way, but I figured such a negative obsession was probably pretty
unhealthy.
So I struck up a bargain with myself. For every negative thought I
had of Betty, I had to think five positive thoughts. What a stupid idea. I had
no idea how hard that was going to be, but I needed to do something. I went to
Plan B, which was to think three good thoughts about Betty. I know, I know. Not
very creative, but it worked. I could usually come up with three things.
1.) She has really nice hair.
2.) She manages to hold a job.
3.) She was very resourceful, even if it’s with MY resources.
And even though I was more than a little relieved when Betty moved
away, I actually benefited from having her as a neighbor. I still find at least
three good things in every day, even the bad ones. But I’ve noticed the bad
ones can be less bad if you search for the good stuff.
4 comments:
Kate, I can feel your pain as I have a neighbor who sounds a great deal like Betty. We'll call him Bob. But he is also a Jekyll-Hyde type who goes from being in my face to calling the town because I've got bird feeders. Then there's the psycho across the street .... In fact I'm surrounded! But it gives me something to laugh about and fodder for stories. Little do they know! Bwahahahaha!
Oh, yes, Lise,
I'm pretty up front about the fact that I "kill people off in print" when I get annoyed. It's quite cathartic...and doesn't lead to extensive jail terms. Names changed to protect the guilty, of course.
Anne Lamott, one of my favorite authors, says (Tongue in cheek, and on the subject of getting sued for libel) "If you disguise this person carefully so that he cannot be recognized by the physical or professional facts of his life, you can use him in your work. And the best advice I can give you is to give him a teenie little penis so he will be less likely to come forth." Later she wrote, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."
I love both of those but especially the latter.
Also love this story! Thanks for sharing Kate!
I hadn't heard the story before, but that is one of my favorite Anne Lamott quotes! (Note to self: tiny penis.) :)
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